uh, yuppp.

stars..butterfly....sailer jerry zombie pinup...and bert krak dagger....its a work in progress. =)

( onward )

word.

when did this happen
when was i lost
when if ever
did i forget about the cost

i didn't see
just wanting to be
i stood there
the pillar
strong yet unsure
a fool in love
listening to your succor

forgiving all the wrongs
in my longing for love
blinded by you light
which seemed shining from above
i gave and you took
not caring the price
swept up by your adore
it all seems so nice

i know there's a catch
there always has to be
and i keep waiting for the blade
that cuts another part of me

i wear your scent
so sweet upon my skin
always wary and watchful
for the game to begin
but you promise forever
and that's all i want to see
just a merry future
where there's you and there's me

you swear to your affection
yet i'm stuck in recollection
you already have me
anyone blind could see

i sigh in your embrace
and melt beneath your kiss
to me a light brush
with your fingers is bliss
do i dare try to hope
let loose a glimmer of dream
you say no more tears
that i'll never have to scream

winning and wooing
a heart that's all yours
but battered and bruised
its been through so many tours

i trust you my love
i'll try and forget
and live in our moments
i have no regret
your gaze steals my breath
your touch
puts me to flame
and you've promised that now
no longer a game

so far you've proved true
and kept your sweet word
please let us see this through
give life to what i've heard

i'll love you forever
even if we fade away
i'll always remember
its to you that i gave
you hold my heart and soul
no one can ever know
you have a piece of me
no one else can ever see

so i love you
please god love me
i couldn't stand the pain
of no hope i could see

i decided that i would wander down to Union Station, behind which was the stage area for MSNBC (since i do love me some Keith Olberman).

( look! )

A year or so ago.
( Read more... )

Why do you think I'm just lolligagging and screwing around JUST because you don't actually see me when I'm outreaching?! Why do you think the world is out to bring you down?! Haven't you noticed that, throughout my whole life, I have only attracted honorable people to truly stick to my side. No dipshits that want to bring you down or anything. THERE ARE PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD YOU CAN TRUST, MOM. You always get on me for things YOU THINK I have no clue about. I THINK SOMETIME IN THE COURSE OF MY 21 YEARS ALIVE THAT I LEARNED SOME FUCKING COMMON SENSE. And you do it constantly. You never let up. I'VE BEEN TRYING,WOMAN, BUT DAMN -- IF MY FIELD DOESN'T HAVE A SLOT FOR ME WITH NOTHING OUTSTANDING, THEN DAMNIT THEY DON'T HAVE A SLOT FOR ME! I was quite successful before I stepped into that school and you wanted me away from the warehouses completely. In 5 months, if I don't get a position, would you still want me at Target?

In five months, if I'm still at Target after I graduated from a school with a 90-something percent hire rate, then that's some bullshit and I'm out. I'm done. I can't take being in this house STILL, after trying for 3+ years to find my peace in this world to help me innovate my own path. I can't take the look of failure, and if I become that which I hate...

JUST DON'T TALK TO ME, OKAY? WE WERE DOING JUST FINE WHEN WE DIDN'T SPEAK OFTEN.
Heh...if I failed, how would that make you feel? Your only son capable of continuing the Allison name is a complete failure and is stopping the chain with himself. With his mistakes. With his losses. I don't have your strength. Hell, you have MINE. When you needed people, that's when my strength was there. I'm exhausted after 5 years of holding you up to YOUR successes.

Hi all!
I already have one tattoo on my upper right arm (the Martin guitar logo [ http://photos-b.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v124/89/64/5803319/n5803319_32636713_7808.jpg] if you care!), about where a short sleeve t-shirt cuts off, but I'm dying to get another. my family has just gotten used to the first one, so I don't want to shock them all too badly. Also, I really thought I wanted the tattoo to be more for me than for others.
That said, I love when a person leans or moves in a certain way and you see a bit of a tattoo you didn't know they have.

Although I don't pretend to know the significance of it, I assume it is of Maori relation.
( View larger if you like :) )

i have posted here before with my other tattoos but here is my newest.

done on saturday by the ultra AMAZING Dave Sanchez @ Yer Cheat'n Heart Tattoo in Cali.

x-posted

( Dia de los Muertos! )

It's like being picked last in a game of kickball, or tag.  You always question yourself.  Is it because I smell?  Do I not run fast enough?  Is it my clothes?  My hair?  Or am I just generally not likable? 

Kickball or relationships, whichever your problem is you will always question yourself.  I am right now.  And I wish it was because of a game of kickball.  I was forgotten in an instant when I did nothing but treat her like she should have been.  I showed her that somebody can care for her even through what she calls "her faults."  They didn't matter to me, I saw through them. 

Apparently she didn't care about me and I feel like a bridge to the next thing.  Makes me wonder if I should really even try to make new friends anymore or even go out in public.  Why should I if everybody I come across treats me like I'm worthless?

Dad,
You're starting to scare me. In a strange way. Like on the way back from the Secretary of State and I made some comment about Dave and Ben and you randomly asked, "Do you still have those feelings for Dave?" That was two years ago that I told you. You can barely remember the last Harry Potter movie from last summer, but you can remember that one little detail I told you two years ago when it was really only a crush?
And no, I didn't lie - I don't actually like him anymore [unless, you know, he confesses his undying love to me, but that's laughable right there]. But then you asked if Ben is taking his place? Ben's just easier to talk to.
Thanks for paying attention, I suppose.
Love,
Your daughter

x   x   x

Mom,
Please stop worrying about Christmas and the upcoming months. We'll get through his early retirement. And if Christmas sucks, then it sucks. But as long as no one dies, it'll still be a good Christmas. <3
Love,
Your daughter

Tattoo done by Julie @ New Moon Tattoo & Piercing, Ottawa, Canada.
Design by Joni Brace, found on TattooJohnny.com

I adore Julie! She was so nice, funny and made the whole experience a good one. And now, on to the picture!

rough lookin at nite!

he broke my heart and he left me to waller in my own misery. am i really that easy to replace?

he made me feel so special and so complete and he cared so much and suddenly he didnt. i felt so secure and so safe and then he just took it all away and left me so nothing.

i have never felt pain like this. this cant be just heartbreak. i feel like my entire being is falling apart and i just cant take it. im not myself. he has consumed my mind and im so confused.